Super Mario Bros. Film Review
By: Adam

Mario sure has a lot of things to it's name. Games, both for Nintendo and computer (there is a Mario teaches typing) some manga, dolls and clothes, and even two full size movies! One is a anime released in Japan, which I won't review. The other is not animated; it's acted out and is in English.
Some basic information: Super Mario Bros. the movie was released sometime in the 80's. In spite of the game's popularity, the movie is considered to be a flop. I agree with this statement.

The movie starts out with an introduction, but it is purely hypothetical.
The animation at the beginning of the movie is similar to South Park, and it goes on about "What if the meteorite that struck Earth created a parallel universe? What if dinosaurs evolved? What if they found a way back?"
Later it starts with Princess Daisy (no relation to the one from SML) who was abandoned at birth and hatched from an egg and raised by nuns in Brooklyn, NY. She works as a paleontologist, and is finding crazy bones that are half human, half dinosaur. Scappelli, a rival of the Mario Bros. plumbing business, is trying to sabotage the dinosaur project for some reason.
Luigi is calling on a phone for a new job since they're going broke and Scappelli took the job they were going to, and Daisy finds Luigi in the city after she is harassed by Scappelli.
Luigi starts hitting on her and is saved by Mario.
That night, when Luigi and Daisy are running around Brooklyn having fun, Daisy shows Luigi the bones. Suddenly, all the pipes in there burst because of Scappelli, Mario fixes the pipes but Daisy is kidnapped and led into a portal, but she gives the Mario Bros. a stone before she leaves: the part of the meteorite
The Mario Bros. chase after.
They go to Dinohatten, another version of Manhattan which is a ghetto. The evolved dinosaurs there complain about lack of natural resources. Koopa is an evil King there. Mario and Luigi look for Daisy, but the rock is stolen and they are arrested, along with Toad, an anti-Koopa singer.
Toad is de-evolved into a Goomba as punishment, and Mario and Luigi will be turned into apes but they attack Koopa and de-evolve him just a bit. He vows to "Kill that Plumber!"
Mario and Luigi race out of Dinohatten on a stolen car but they crash into the desert.
Iggy and Spike, two loyal minions of Koopa are sent to find them, but they team up with the agreement that if they get the stone they'll help the Mario Bros. rescue Daisy.
So they go to the castle, where Daisy learns she is descended from the dinosaurs, and only she can put the meteorite piece in the meteorite that struck earth to make their two dimensions one again.
Mario and Luigi get to her, and Luigi escapes with Daisy to stop the meteorite piece from going back in the meteorite, while Mario faces off with Koopa.
Needless to say, Mario wins but Daisy feels she has to stay in Dinohatten to help the people there.

WTF? Factor
1 Mario and Luigi's last name are Mario. It's Mario Mario and Luigi Mario.
They are both brothers, yet Mario is balding and looks 40, while Luigi looks 20, although he claims Mario raised him. (The actors are 20 years apart age wise.)
2 For evolved dinosaurs, they all look like humans, even Koopa, until he is de-evolved.
3 Toad is not a mushroom, he is a singer.
4 Goombas are not little brown things. They are tiny-headed people who are stupid.
5 Mario is attacked by a 50 year old woman with a taser.
6 The Marios do not jump on their enemies. No Goomba was defeated in this movie.
7 The dinosaurs can evolve or de-evolve people using machines.
8 There are two strange buildings. One is Thwomps, which you can see as the Marios enter Dinohatten, and Bullet Bills, which you can see during the final battle.
9 Yoshi is in this film as a cuddly pet dinosaur, but he has teeth and a regular sized tongue. His role is very small.
10 For most of the movie the Marios are in regular attire. When they storm Koopa's castle after being in the desert, they suddenly are wearing their overalls, but the colors are switched. (Both wear blue shirts, Luigi wears a green pants and cap, and Mario wears a red pants and cap.
11 Luigi does not have a mustache.
12 This movie bears almost no resemblance to the game.
13 Daisy's dad was turned into a fungus but magically becomes normal again after Koopa is killed.
14 There is one Bob-Omb which Mario winds up. It walks really slow and has a long fuse.
15 Luigi and Mario agree that they are broke yet Mario buys a $3.00 bottle of water, when they say they are surprised that they are eating when they're broke.
16 At the end Mario and Luigi blast Koopa with their de-evolution guns and Koopa turns into liquid at the end.

This movie is crazy. It was a bit confusing to follow the plot, the costumes were awful, and the idea of dinosaurs looking like humans was plain lazy. The movie had almost no Marioness to it. I see why it was considered a flop.
It was funny a tiny bit, but overall not worth seeing.

Written By: Adam
E-Mail Address: flashback25@aol.com
Date Submitted: April 21st, 2007

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