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The Legend of Smellda: Twilight Pimpcess
Part II


Written By:
Adam
The hand is attached to Rod Serling, who says “Welcome to the Twilight Zone.” Old Twilight Zone music starts playing, and Link yells and turns into a wolf. He faints, and Rod Serling drags him.

Midna suddenly appears.
Midna: I found you!
Link barks, and Midna replies
Midna: Wow, you are definitely a mutt.
Link does that little doggie cry.
Midna breaks Link’s chains.
Midna: All right. Let’s make a deal. If I get you out of this without returning you to your human form, you must travel across the entire country and get me these three fused shadows while risking your life and limb as I hide as your shadow.
Link does a howl of doubt.
Midna appears with a chart in the background with a pointer.
Midna: And I’ll throw in three easy payments of five rupees!
Midna: C’mon. We need to leave this prison. Anything you need to do before we leave?
Link is in the dog poo position. (Please censor this)

In Zelda’s room, Zelda in black robes is sitting.
Midna and Link appear. Midna flies to Zelda.
Midna: All right, here’s Link. Now, tell him how to…
Link’s eyes have hearts in them, and he does a romantic howl thing at Zelda.
Zelda: Does he bite?
Midna: No, but he…
Link starts to hump Zelda’s leg
Zelda: Bad dog! Get him out!
Midna warps Link out.
Midna: What was that?
Link looks down, ashamed.
Link is teleported to Ordon Spring.
Midna: Let’s go, Link! We need to find weapons! Let’s start with a sword and shield.
Link runs to Ordon Village, and there are monsters by his house.
Link attacks them, and is about to leave when a squirrel talks to him.
Squirrel: Hey! Don’t worry, you’re not an animal. You can talk to animals-
Switch to Link chewing on the squirrel’s carcass.
Midna: Hey! No time for dinner.
10 Minutes Later
Link is at Ordon Spring
Ordon (with really shiny letters): Chosen Hero, beware… a shadow approaches.
Midna: What? I can’t understand you due to your sparkling text.
A portal appears and a Twilight messenger falls out and lands on its neck. A loud crack is heard.
Midna: I think it broke its neck.
Immediately the creature becomes an inactive portal.
Midna: Well, let’s go back into the twilight.
In the twilight…
Midna has shield on her face and sword in her hand.
Midna: These are the weapons that you use?
Midna swings the sword and cuts Link’s head off.
Ending music plays and screen goes to Game Over. The word “Retry?” is visible, and “Yes” is highlighted.
Link is seen getting up off of the floor
The spirit, Faron, comes down and speaks to Link
Faron: Hero, I’ve been cursed, and get these things of light for me, thanks.
Link and Midna set off.
LATER:

Faron: Thank you Link for collecting the Tears of Light for me. Now look at your Hero form.
Link, human again, looks at his clothing. A sword and shield are on his back.
Faron: It once belonged the original hero from the previous script of Ranger2.
Link: Was the other guy gay or something?
(LINK WILL WEAR THE ORDON SHIELD)

Go to Part III

 Written By: Adam
 Date Submitted: May 11th, 2007

Click Here to see other things Adam has sent in.

 

 
 

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