Link is now at the Forest Temple
The baboon comes with a boomerang.
Link: OOH! Monkey! He then does some ooh and ah, monkey talk.
The monkey starts tapping its butt. The “Milkshakes” song blares, and the monkey dances.
The baboon starts screeching at Link
Link: Damn right, it’s better than yours!
Scene change
Link and Midna are at the Boss door.
Midna: Link, you know what you’re going to do?
Link: Duh.
They open the door. The ground rumbles, and Diababa leaps out.
Diababa: ROAR!
Link: I have no idea.
Link holds up two bottles of Weed-B-Gone.
Midna: Link! What a clever idea! Where did you get it?
Link: From the last script.
Link sprays Weed-B-Gone on the Diababa. It shrivels up and dies.
Link: Yay!
A fused shadow comes back, but it is a shadow.
Peter Pan swoops down from the air
Peter Pan: Give me that! My shadow!
Peter takes one look at Link.
Peter Pan: So that’s where my other set of green clothes went. Give them back!
Link slashes Peter in half with the sword. A heart container jumps out.
Link: Heh heh heh…
Scene jump to Eldin Bridge
Link (on horseback): Give back my dirty magazines now!
Zoom in on Bublin, tied to the spear are dirty magazines (titled PlayHylian) instead of Colin.
Bublin: No! First we had to leave the girl, so we will still have fun tonight!
Bublin charges.
Link charges at him and goes around.
Link: Ha ha! You’ll never beat me!
They charge again, Link slashes Bublin off of his boar. Bublin falls off of the bridge.
Link: Ha ha! You lose…
Link rushes to the edge of the bridge and looks down into the depths.
Link (sobbing): My magazines!!!
(LINK IS NOW WEARING A HYLIAN SHIELD)
Scene to Link in Ordon talking to Mayor Bo
Link: And since you’re um… hefty, could you help me wrestle the Gorons?
Bo (with a Twinkie in his hand): Is that a fat joke?
Link: Um…
Bo (yelling): I am NOT FAT! I’m only big boned.
Link (whispering): Ding-Dong.
Bo barks like a dog and stares at the pack of Ding-Dongs in Link’s hand.
Bo (salivating): Okay, kid. I’ll do whatever you want. Just-
Bo holds up the Iron Boots.
Bo: Here you go!
Bo drops them on Link’s feet
Link: YOW!
Link drops the Twinkie in pain. Bo snuffles it up.
To Be Continued
